Day 22: … In a New Light
Day 22: April 17, 2020
Global cases: 2,248,863; Deaths: 154,145
Egypt cases: 2,844; Deaths: 205
Bedour Hafez
Accounting Senior
My online classes always start with a drawn-out discussion about how the coronavirus is changing everything around us from interest and exchange rates to taxing and reporting procedures. If it isn’t a “what will the CBE or ETA do next” poll, it’s an article about yet another plant closure or an attempt to forecast the next global recession.
Sometimes it feels like my professors are excited about this pandemic and viewing it as a valuable learning opportunity. I understand that it could develop our critical thinking, because we get to observe and analyze how decision makers are injecting monetary and fiscal stimulus packages into the economy while the crisis is unfolding.
However, for me it has been a reminder of the reality of my major. We deal with numbers, ratios, forecasts and reports, but we often forget about the people behind all of these figures and decisions.
I wake up everyday to my mother reciting the updated confirmed cases, recovered cases and death toll. It has become her routine. My routine starts with asking about my father’s whereabouts and whether he really needed to go to work that day, then I start scheduling the day’s to-do list and panic attacks.
For The Caravan‘s previous diary entries in Arabic and English go to our COVID-19 Special Coverage page.
Before COVID-19, I used to stay on campus as late as I could in order to finish my assignments because my golden rule was to never bring stress home with me. Sometimes I’d surprise my parents by coming home early, but even then I rarely spent time with them.
The day following the announcement of an early spring break, my father asked me to spend some time with him but I told him I couldn’t because I needed to work on an assignment. A couple of hours later, my father was on his way to the hospital after having suffered an angina attack. The hours that followed were paralyzing, but fortunately he made it through the night.
All I could do afterwards was stay up, finish my assignment then step out on the balcony at dawn to mark the new day. I had a lot of raging thoughts and feelings because of how I prioritized my work, but when the sun came up everything went momentarily silent.
Today, one of my professors urged the class to reach out to him with any academics or personal problems stating that it is his duty to help and guide us through our anxieties. That’s when it hit me that it has been a whole month of quarantine and concealed anxieties.
On the surface I may seem anxious about midterms and group projects, but deep down I’m anxious about not getting to share another sunrise with my father, not finding a decent job after graduation and not travelling around the world with my best friend.
There is a lot of uncertainty surrounding the coronavirus and its magnitude is beyond my comprehension, but so far what I know for sure is that it’s reshaping global financial spheres as well as my personal priorities and fears.
