Beyond the Bright Illusion

• By: Nour El Badawi, English Editor

It all started with a random book I saw on a bookshelf at a friend’s house. “Toxic Positivity” in big bold yellow letters with a vibrant red background. A concept I never imagined could exist: How can positivity be something toxic that we all yearn to have? 

Toxic positivity is the concept that no matter what happens—and despite life’s struggles—one must always stay positive and look at the bright side, but positivity doesn’t heal, it retains our emotions. 

The concept of positivity slowly started to be the solution to everything, a magic pill for any situation, an addictive dosage of formulated feelings. So, we desire it. Wish to attain it. And spread it in ways that intoxicate us. 

The concept began to resonate with me in unimaginable ways, completely altering how I perceive unexplainable internal emotions. 

In a world where we view negativity as a taboo, we put our fake faces on, our perfectly crafted smiles, and carry on ignoring all other feelings, because how can we not be positive? 

Then we completely forget how to feel, because any negative feeling brings about the stress and guilt of not feeling positive. Slowly, we forget how to live, because why should we? We have a perfectly formulated pill of positivity. 

The overdosage of any medicine intoxicates the body, so convincing ourselves that a positive attitude is the only solution, poisons us. We begin to live to positive societal standards, day after day, suppressing real emotions, setting pressure, and invalidating struggles. 

I began experiencing this firsthand when everything was falling apart and all I kept hearing and reading were “Stay positive”; “Look on the bright side”; or “Think of happy thoughts”. Did they think I hadn’t tried; would forcing a smile just magically fix everything? Had anyone thought what if I do not want to be positive, what if for once I want to feel miserable and drown in my sorrowfulness? 

Amidst my irritation, this is when the bold, yellow words “Toxic Positivity” flashed in my mind, and I realized I was facing a clear diagnosis. A realization that struck me hard, when simply reading such phrases, infuriated me. 

For once I just wanted someone to tell me that it’s okay to simply be sad, cuddle up at home take off my fake smile, and embrace what I am feeling. Not inevitably of course, but just to be able to be able to live again. 

I realized that the only medicine for my chronically diagnosed case of toxic positivity is letting go, and understanding that my negative emotions serve a purpose, they help me process, heal, and move on. So, when I achieve that, I enjoy life more, and I let go of all the unacknowledged baggage that was tearing me down. 

Suppressing our emotions builds up pressure to fail, and with that, we lose sight of the true meaning of living. To live is to feel, the highs and the lows. Allowing ourselves to “feel” and understand that our emotions are tools of experience, helps us regain control of our lives, it frees us from positive guilt. 

And don’t get me wrong, I am not preaching to fall into endless depressive episodes either. I just think it’s a much simpler formula to cure—embrace positivity, but don’t deny reality. Healing our emotions begins with ripping off the “stay positive” band-aid, and acknowledging what we are feeling.