cultural reactions to pre-marital pregnancy
BY MARAM SHALABY
SPOTLIGHT EDITOR
While visiting my high school in Kuwait two weeks ago, I have been told that a 16-year-old French student who used to go to my school had dropped out because she got pregnant. She chose to keep her baby and raise him as a single parent.
As an Egyptian girl brought up in one of the most conservative countries of the Gulf region, the first question I asked was: How did her parents react to this? The girl’s mother was completely supportive, if not happy for her daughter.
Growing up in a specific culture and being taught specific norms and traditions got me thinking, what could possibly happen to a 16-year-old Egyptian student who gets herself in this girl’s situation? Actually what could happen to any Egyptian girl in this situation?
Well, I came up with three common scenarios. Before discussing them, I invite you to suppose that we are talking about an Egyptian teenage girl named Q.
Q will either have to consider abortion, risk her health and sometimes life. Her other options are to tell her parents and lose their trust and respect, or just give up and kill herself.
All three ways are definitely nothing close to the “happy ending” every girl dreams of.
In Egypt, where culture and religion are considered to be very strong, with only one mistake, Q committed a religious sin, ruined her social image, and most importantly risked her health. According to the World Health Organization, “Complications from pregnancy and childbirth are the leading cause of death among girls aged 15-19 years in many low- and middle-income countries.”
Many Egyptians would consider this one mistake to be fatal. They would probably think of her as an insolent girl who lost what makes her a “covered diamond.” She would also be viewed with shame and discourtesy.
I completely understand this perspective but I do not support it. I know we live in a community where we should respect its norms and values and I also know that premarital sex is forbidden by the two most common religions in Egypt, Islam and Christianity. Nevertheless, when a girl gets pregnant, the damage is already done so why not help her get through the process safely?
Although religion plays a big role in many Egyptians’ lives, I will choose to disregard it here.
Our conservative culture explains why Q could be judged in the worst ways possible. Why can’t we give her the benefit of the doubt and consider several assumptions? For instance, a reason she was found in this situation could be that she loved and trusted a so-called “man.” Why don’t we also consider the fact that she might have been raped? Why does her life have to stop here?
Girls, if your culture doesn’t accept these kinds of mistakes, stand up for yourself and your rights! I am not saying that getting pregnant before marriage is right, and I am definitely not urging you girls to go make little babies with your significant others. All I am saying is that I believe that if you ever got yourself pregnant before marriage, you shouldn’t hide it or feel ashamed. Isn’t the first step to correcting a wrongdoing, admitting and facing it?
Regarding our astonishing community members, please don’t allow yourselves to judge a human being for a mistake he/she committed. Always remember the famous saying by Jesus Christ, “let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”
Our dear Government, I urge you to raise awareness about taboo topics such as dangers of adolescents’ pregnancies, unsafe abortions and most importantly, sexual education in all public and private schools. Also, create specialized centers to educate families about the best ways to deal with such problems. Believe it or not, according to a research organized by the United Nations’ Division for the Advancement of Women, in Egypt, 34 percent of cases of honor killing are committed by the father of the girl and 18 percent by her brother.
