To Be or Not to Be … A Feminist

By: Judith Uttendorfer
Deputy English Editor

For the longest time, I thought every woman was a feminist. My definition for feminism is about choice, about giving women the option to live the life they want, whether that be a high end career, or being a stay-at-home mom.

One of my closest friends whom I met in my first semester at AUC taught me something else: She insists on not being defined as feminist.

That was a hard thing to understand. And I still believe I didn’t fully grasp what she meant. If feminism is about choice, then how can a woman not be a feminist? Especially one that I know to be accepting of others’ life choices.

I believe her resistance stems from two cores. The first is that today’s recognized feminism is built on Western ideals and values. That a woman wants to be veiled, wants to stay at home with her kids, and wants the husband to be the main provider, is a life difficult to understand for many feminists.

That misunderstanding might discourage women to identify as feminists because they consider it radical, or “Western” thought. Maybe some fear that feminism won’t accommodate their culture and religion.

Her second argument is that with rights come obligations. Could fighting for women’s rights and choices lead to women being drafted into the military as an obligation equal to that of men? If we put it in context what does equalization really mean?

Here is what I believe it means.

Equalization gives women the same opportunities as men. It gives us the chance to join the military, it grants us equal pay for equal jobs, it gives us freedom of choice.

What equalization doesn’t mean is that each and every woman now has to become the main breadwinner for the family. It also doesn’t mean that women must embrace the life of a man, or make a man’s choice in life.

On the contrary, it means that each woman is allowed to choose the opportunity to be the breadwinner, by making it possible for the husband to be a stay-at-home dad.

It also means that a woman can choose not to go to work.

Even if we disagree, being a feminist or not, the essential argument here is about choice.

So, maybe, if we take a step back and refocus on the origins of feminism, on equal opportunity and rights – if we accept that the values, wishes, and expectations that each woman has are different – we can all call ourselves feminists.

And if not, isn’t choice it’s own special kind of feminism?