Will, Strength and Success: Anorexia Survivors Share Their Stories

By: Habiba Al-Roubi

@habibaalroubi1_

Photo Courtesy of Farida Ashraf

Conversations about weight and physical appearance may not be intended to hurt but can nonetheless have the potential to seriously harm some people’s self-esteem and mental health.

Integrated Marketing Communication (IMC) sophomore Farida Ashraf fought against anorexia and shared her battle to defeat the disorder on her public Instagram account. 

Ashraf says she was a chubby 11-year-old who loved food. Although she heard negative comments from relatives and friends about her weight, they didn’t bother her at the time. 

However, by age 16, the snide remarks began to sink in, and Ashraf felt like she had to adjust her body.

“I wanted my body to appear perfect, so I dieted and did simple exercises such as jogging until my body weight was within normal limits. But that wasn’t enough for me, I wanted to lose even more weight, so I dieted and exercised until things got out of control,” she says.

She then became too skinny, weighing only 43 kilograms with a height of 165 centimeters, Ashraf was soon diagnosed with anorexia nervosa.

Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized as an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat heightened by the fear of gaining weight, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). 

“I suffered physically, socially and mentally. I used to eat three apples a day for a year, sleep all day and cancel all my outings. Whenever I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat girl. I was never satisfied with how my body looked. I spent four hours a day in the gym, but I still thought that I was far away from reaching an ideal body,” said Ashraf.

There was an inner voice constantly reminding her she was fat, ugly and that she did not deserve to be happy.  

“I was skinny and weak. I used to weigh myself every day, starve myself and count every single calorie. I thought being thin would make me strong and powerful when, in fact, I was ill,” said Ashraf.

She visited many psychiatrists, but the recovery process was complicated and lengthy because she wasn’t accepting that she was ill. 

At 18, Ashraf was finally convinced that she was sick and needed help after a close friend talked to her about the illness and its side effects.

Ashraf explained that anorexia is more than just a disorder that could be treated by medication; recovery is a long and challenging process. 

“It was very hard. I used to cry and force myself to eat normal portions. It took me some time until I got used to it. The gym helped me a lot by diverting my attention to something else rather than food. I was happy again, but this time I knew how precious my body was,” Ashraf said.

Ashraf is now proud of how strong she feels. She works out four to five times a week because she loves the gym and not because she feels forced to anymore. She has stopped counting calories and follows a balanced diet. 

Courtesy of Farida Ashraf

Psychiatrist Norhan El Araby says that those suffering from anorexia need to seek psychological therapy. One of the treatments they receive can be cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) which changes the way they think about themselves and their bodies. 

CBT is a type of psychotherapeutic treatment which helps people identify and change negative thoughts that affect behaviors and emotions.

This was the treatment that Mona Abo Shosha, a Visual Arts alumni and anorexia fighter, went through. 

Abo Shosha told The Caravan how she used to be bullied at school because of her weight, which led her to suffer from anorexia.

As she began losing weight, everyone around her began complimenting her, which made her feel good about herself and led to losing more and more weight until she couldn’t stop.

“I changed my body, how I look and my habits purely for the sake of people’s approval. It was a matter of low self-esteem and lack of confidence,” said Abo Shosha.

Later, she went through CBT which helped her regain her confidence and taught her not to let people’s comments and opinions affect her. 

She still suffers from mental issues related to anorexia but is doing better. 

“One of the things [which] stuck with me with the eating disorder is the fear of completing the full portion of my food. I feel a lot better about myself while eating a minute amount of carbs or even a quarter or half of the portion that is recommended,” said Abo Shosha. 

Abo Shosha believes that the attitudes she developed because of her eating disorder will stick with her for the rest of her life.

“I’ll be turning 29 and I am still suffering from these symptoms and I don’t think I will ever be 100% symptom free of this eating disorder mindset, the mental issue lives on and requires a lot of work,” said Abo Shosha.

Noha El Nahas, professional counselor and adjunct faculty in the Psychology department, previously acknowledged that peer and media pressure to look a certain way are among the root causes.

“When people develop an eating disorder, they do not think of the consequences, they think of the immediate result they are getting.”