Day 85: The Double-Edged Sword

Day 85: June 19, 2020
Global Cases: 8, 750, 990; Deaths: 461, 820
Egypt Cases:  52, 211; Deaths: 2,017

Reem Morsy 
Integrated  Marketing Communications Junior

It is 11pm and I feel sleepy. I am lying in bed after having already fallen asleep earlier on the couch for three hours while binge watching Netflix, I cannot clearly identify the purpose of sleeping now at this particular time, especially because I am the night owl among all my family members and friends. Perhaps, it is a matter of boredom and lack of interest.

The room is silent and the only thing that is grabbing my attention is the annoying noise coming from my neighbor’s television. They are playing the movie Fool el seen El 3azeem (The Great Chinese Bean) at a high volume.

I was annoyed yet intrigued with the Chinese characters pronouncing Arabic words in a comedic way. At some point, I felt as though I am actually sitting on my neighbor’s couch, sipping tea as we are all enjoying the movie together, until a notification beep from my phone cut my train of thoughts.

The sound of the beep forced me into a dilemma of memories and nostalgic feelings that I was really in need of at this useless, undefined point in life. The notification was “iPhone is out of storage”. But I was the one “out of storage” for forgetting all of the beautiful memories that came my way as I scrolled up my photo gallery.

This notification made me relive the endless car rides with my four closest friends. There is Malak, who is responsible for the AUX and playing unbearable songs that only she enjoys. Then there is Noureen, who would curse Malak for her songs and end up putting on her air pods to create her own bubble of Shawn Mendes songs.

Farah would be capturing every moment and creating Instagram stories showing people how crazy we are. There was also Hala, who was enjoying the songs and occasionally interrupting Malak’s stream of music with rap songs that only she listens to.

As I scrolled further up, I also recalled field trips to unforgettable places in Cairo, weddings, concerts, unbearable (yet currently missed) university days, and the list goes on.

And suddenly, it was 3am! How did time pass by so quickly? This thought about time made me stop and think more.

Time passes in a glimpse, and every single moment is memorized in our minds. This routine-useless quarantine life will also be a memory, but when?

I kept on thinking about this fact, even in my dreams. I went into a deep sleep until my eyes became agitated at the sun rays entering my room. I realized that I had slept for only four hours and it is 7am now. I decided to get out of bed and make a change instead of enduring lazy, purposeless quarantine days.

I got up, took a shower, made a cup of tea with some biscuits on the side, and decided to enjoy some morning breeze in the empty living room in our house. My sleepy head was refueled by the cool-breeze, engaging with the chirping sounds of birds, and hugging the large tree with bright-red flowers.

This ambiance was enough to make all my previous and coming quarantine days bearable. Unfortunately, good moments never last and the enjoyable, peaceful state of mind, was replaced by heart-breaking and deadly thoughts after receiving a call that one of my family members had caught the virus and is critically ill.

For The Caravan‘s previous diary entries in Arabic and English go to our COVID-19 Special Coverage page. 

All of a sudden, the weather was gloomy and the birds’ voices turned into ghosts around the deciduous tree. I tried to calm myself, pray more and hope that this is just a nightmare that will not last long.

Cheering myself up was not easy but remembering my family gatherings, sharing the same food, and laughter filled my heart with hope. My flight of thoughts ended by remembering the spring semester with all its tiring moments, and the achievements that made my parents proud.

After the Spring semester came to an end, boredom was killing me to the extent that I registered a Summer semester class just to make time pass. Now, I appreciate that I took this step, as the learning experience is adding more to my personality and mindset. It caused me to look into details and dig deeper in topics I never thought would be of interest to me.

It is probably the first, and last time, to say that I am currently enjoying an online semester, not only for discovering new aspects in our lives, but also for helping me reach a purpose for all the hard times we are experiencing.

Quarantine life is hitting us hard, but what is far more important is to know the purpose of passing through such a difficult exam from God. By passing this, we will learn how to appreciate every single detail in our lives, to know people better and categorize them according to their designated places in our lives.

This is all taking into consideration that a true friend is the one who has your back in tough days, and it’s important to remember that the people in your life are precious. I also realized that daily busy life and heavy campus work is a blessing, and that staying home is now a boring obligation.

With all these thoughts in my head, I eventually realized that it was past 3am yet again.