Don’t Need Quarantine by the Beach on Day 69, Give me Back my Routine

Day 69: June 3, 2020
Global Cases: 6,562,695 Deaths: 386,787
Egypt Cases: 28,615 Deaths: 1,088

Farah Abouzeid
Political Science Alumna

I woke up at 9:17am to the loud and noisy, also non-existent, sound of my alarm that rings heavily in my head even though I disabled it two months ago; still, it haunts me. I send an email to my boss with my eyes half-shut, letting him know that I’m alive and working, then quickly go back to sleep for two or three more hours.

I never thought I’d say this out loud, but I think that my life was actually good pre-quarantine, when I was a 9-to-5 employee who was overworked, overtired, overwhelmed, and late for work almost every day. My mornings would usually go as follows: I would wake up to the sound of my 9th or 10th alarm, grumpily wash my face while dreading the fact that I ever sought a job that needed me to get up this early in the morning, get dressed in five minutes then realize that I look like crap and need to get re-dressed, but this time it would take me about 20 minutes to decide on an outfit. 

As for the rest of my day, I would just try to survive life as an executive who gets all the donkey work done, needs to regularly impress her boss by bringing new ideas to the business, while also socializing with some co-workers during the non-existent lunch break. That’s because no one ever wants to be the “quiet girl” at work that everyone nods at in the hallways, but never talks to.

After work, I would then run to my two-hour kickboxing practice which I thought would be a good way to let off some steam, only to realize that it’s a harder sport than it looks and that I need to dedicate my entire thought and energy to getting the right techniques rather than letting off anything. 

I thought that I hated this routine with all my heart. I would daydream about the life I would have if I didn’t have to go to work each morning, thinking I would be living in Sokhna or Sahel, reading books or writing poems in my terrace with the view of the beach in my eyesight and my shay b laban (tea with milk) in my hand. Needless to say, I would be much fitter by having time for a four-hour workout, instead of just squeezing in two lazy hours at the end of a very long day. 

Now, you can imagine my excitement when I received the oh-so-happy work-from-home email that would turn my daydream to reality. However, after having all the time in the world to do whatever the hell I want, I was forced to the realization that I’m not as good at planning out my life as I always thought I was.

You see, having a routine gave an order to my life that I never knew I needed. So now, with my routine gone, I find myself floating in a timeless sea of order-less events and chaotic emotions. 

For The Caravan‘s previous diary entries in Arabic and English go to our COVID-19 Special Coverage page. 

Even though I did go to Sahel in pursuit of satisfying my dream of living by the beach, I still find myself spending a lot of time indoors glued to my phone screen rather than outside enjoying the crispy, humid beach air. I send in a few random emails every morning and before I go to bed to make my boss feel as if I’m working day and night to meet his deadlines, when in fact I have become too lazy that I barely even touch my laptop most days and end up needing to pull an all-nighter every week or two in order to meet my deadlines and actually avoid getting fired.

I also lay my yoga mat and dumbbells in my living room every single day in preparation for my home workout, but on most days, I end up re-rolling my mat without ever touching it or even doing a single sit-up. I make it a point to wear a swimsuit every morning and tan for a little bit or go for a quick dip in the shared pool in my compound (before the security guards see me and kick me out), which gives me some satisfaction about doing any activity in my day.

The only silver lining is that I finally get to sit in my terrace every evening and watch a magical sunset with my shay b laban in my hand, and occasionally write a poem or two to this view, but it’s still hard to get inspired when there’s literally nothing going on in my life to write about.

So, there you have it, my non-exciting, jumbled up, and chaotic life in quarantine which makes me long to get back to my dreadful routine.