Day 53: This Quarantine is the Closest Thing to a Break
Day 53: May 18, 2020
Global cases: 4,888,124; Deaths: 319,165
Egypt cases: 12,764; Deaths: 645
Dania Akkawi
Multimedia Journalism alumna
Former Caravan Editor-in-Chief
It was around 11am when my two best friends and I met at Gaby’s in Point 90 for breakfast. Nada, Farah and I always order the eggs benedict, and today was no different. After a breakfast filled with laughter, office gossip and rants about university, we walked towards Zara to look at dresses because Farah’s Cap and Gown event was coming up.
She’s the last of the three of us to graduate so this graduation event is extremely special.
By 3pm, we were heading out of the mall and as we walked past our favorite jewelry store, Nada and I glanced at each other and smiled because Farah would be getting a special graduation present soon. It’s a tradition after all.
And then I wake up. I’ve been having this dream for the past few weeks and, to be honest, it doesn’t upset me. At least, I get to see my two best friends somehow, even if it isn’t real.
Sometime in early January, my friends and I decided that we’d get matching planners for 2020. Ridiculous, I know. I especially know that now more than ever because March 12 was the date I last checked my planner. I haven’t opened it since.
I graduated right before the pandemic in January 2020 and I had quite the reputation for an ‘obsessive planner’. I couldn’t function with just one planner. I needed two or three; one for my classes, one for extracurricular activities and social life, and one for the final exams month. Needless to say that my planning efforts would sometimes result in desired results, and sometimes not. But regardless, I’d never stopped planning before.
One day before that storm hit Cairo on March 12 and right before the quarantine happened, there was a lot going on in my life that I had a ‘bad feeling’ about. But at the time, I kept going in the same direction because nothing would physically stop me. My planner had a set of dates and goals that needed to be met, and God forbid I change those plans after having written them with blue ink, highlighted them in yellow and put sticky note reminders.
It seemed as though I literally needed a pandemic to keep me at home so that I could think straight. At the time, that’s just what I needed. But that’s not the case anymore. Initially, I was one of those people who saw the quarantine as an opportunity to work on myself. Naturally, to adapt, I needed to plan for that too.
And truly, it was fine for a while as I balanced between my yoga and fitness routine and the never-ending zoom meetings for work. I hadn’t taken an actual break during college and when I graduated, I decided to start working immediately. This quarantine is the closest I’ve had to a ‘break’. For a week, it was fine. For over a month, it’s not fine anymore.
Recently, I have been waking up at around 1pm (even though working hours start at 10:30am) and I don’t actually do any work. Usually, I’d just have to get through a work-related Zoom meeting that can last up to three hours, but I actually start working past midnight.
For The Caravan‘s previous diary entries in Arabic and English go to our COVID-19 Special Coverage page.
Between 1pm to midnight, I can’t quite predict what I’ll be doing. Sometimes I’m reading, watching a show or movie, doing yoga, having a Zoom hangout with my friends, or complaining about work with my work friends.
It’s been over two months since I’ve seen my friends. In between celebrating birthdays on Zoom and unconsciously creating a WhatsApp routine where we are all online to take random Buzzfeed quizzes and make fun of each other’s answers, I miss them a lot more than I imagined.
I am so sick and tired of the so-called positive, motivational quotes on Instagram telling me to spend quarantine ‘working on myself’. I already tried that and it did not stick with me for long, because all I am thinking about is ‘what now?’.
I want ‘normal’ back. I have had enough time away from my planner and all I want is to write ‘back to normal’ in one of the little boxes under a set date. That way, the quarantine can have a deadline.
Because I work in a magazine and my job entails that I do interviews and write articles, I’ve spoken to several people who are ‘embracing the new normal’ and looking forward to this ‘digital age’. Unfortunately, I don’t feel the same way and I don’t look forward to more technology in my life.
I saw my friends go through online classes and they are miserable. So, don’t tell me that online teaching is going to be ‘normalized’. Face-to-face interaction is irreplaceable. It’s just not the same having to present your graduation project or go to office hours over Zoom. Likewise at work, I’d rather have a three hour face-to-face meeting over a zoom conference.
Extracurricular activities, a huge part of college life, are almost non-existent in these conditions. For me in 2019, that ‘activity’ was The Caravan. It’s heartbreaking to hear how much the current staff miss working on the weekly print edition. I jokingly brought up how much that meant to me with a friend, and I was met with ‘do you really think print will come back after this? Who’s going to want to touch paper unnecessarily?’
I just want a reason to use my planner, to see my friends, and complain about work from the office. I don’t want to hear that this ‘new normal’ might be even slightly related to the current quarantine conditions. I truly never want to have to use Zoom again.
